Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I say those words out loud as I discover that I have unintentionally glued my woodworking project to my work bench. I should have known better but just was not thinking. The older I get, the more stupid things I do, and the more occasions for self- flagellation. We may think it’s okay to slander ourselves in our frustrations over life’s drips, spills, and messes, but is it?

Recently, I was reading Jesus’ words in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew’s Gospel and was struck by what Jesus said about insulting words. The context is Jesus contrasting the law as the Pharisees taught and the law’s original intent as he understood it. The Pharisees defined murder as the act of killing, but Jesus said being angry with a brother or sister and insulting someone was equal to murder.

He said, “Anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell” (Matthew 5:21-22 NIV). “Raca” means empty head; we might say “moron” today. Jesus saw murder beginning with anger and insults. When we are driving and someone cuts us off and we call them a jerk, we are not thinking of murder. However, we hear of stories of road rage that have resulted in just that. Anger and insults are ugly symptoms of a desire to get rid of someone who stands in our way.

Practicing kindness, especially in the face of the opposite, is a defiant and powerful act of love. Kindness forges the acceptance and connection that we all want and need. Insults make us feel small and discarded. Kindness raises us up, and inoculates our hearts with goodness. It has also been proven to be an important part of staying healthy.

Our present culture is rife with clashing political ideologies, cowardly acts of terrorism, and rampant shaming on social media. Harsh acts of insulting have the power to devastate us. When we lose sight of those around us and get lost in our own story, we begin to see others as separate from ourselves. It’s the feeling of separateness that allows us to hurt others.

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to get angry with someone on the phone or with someone when you are driving in a car? If you saw them face-to-face and could feel their hearts and understand what it might be like to be them, would you behave differently?

We trick ourselves into believing that we are not like that person, “We would never behave that way,” and therefore we are different and entitled to be unkind. However, if we could hear their story and understand their experience, our hearts might beat as one. We might feel a sense of compassion for their choices and behaviors.

Being kind to others is important, but what about being kind to one’s self? My listening to Jesus’ words in the Sermon on the Mount have caused me to consider that my self-loathing comments are insulting to the image of God in whom I have been created. If insults are the origins of murder, then when I insult others and insult myself, I am essentially committing murder- suicide! We do well to watch our words and season them with kindness. The next time you spill something, make a mess, or glue your project to the workbench, be kinder to yourself; you are a precious child of God.