Have you struggled, wondering if God is enough? I know I have. Four years ago today, God took my godly, loving, strong husband Home with Him.

   For a year and a half, I was quite stoic. Then it happened; the shock and denial wore off. I was forced to look at the bitter reality. Tom, my husband, was not going to walk through the door, nor was he going to hold me tight and tell me everything would be fine.

   It was more than I could face. All kinds of thoughts were swirling around in my head. There were painful thoughts, not just for my personal life but for the lives of our daughters. Dad would not be there for their high school graduation, and he wouldn’t be walking them down the aisle on that special day. Was God really enough?

   I wasn’t angry at God. However, I didn’t understand how He would be enough. My pastor gave me a DVD course to watch. Surely, I would find answers. I found anger instead. The course’s teacher quoted Philippians 4:19, “But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus” (KJV). I love this verse. The teacher began to teach that whatever happens in our lives is needful because of what this verse says. That made no sense to me. It would not be needful for me not to have my husband or my daughters not to have their dad.

   My depression worsened. For the next two weeks I went nowhere, not even to church. I wore pajamas and sat on my couch. One day Pastor and his wife stopped to see me. I really didn’t want company. I just sat there through the visit.

   Ariel, Pastor’s wife, brought a jar filled with beautiful flowers. She placed them on the fireplace mantel. They tried to encourage me, and finally the Pastor prayed before they left.

   I just sat there waiting for God to show me something, anything. I looked at the beautiful flowers on the mantel. Yellow flowers, bright and cheerful, seemed to smile at me. Then I remembered that I would tell everyone that all flower arrangements needed at least one yellow flower. Yellow is an antidepressant. Here was a whole bouquet of yellow flowers.

   I began to feel joy for the first time in a while. God was speaking to my heart through flowers. He began to soothe my spirit and strengthen my weary body. The prayers of the pastor and my entire church family were being answered. I felt “the peace of God, which passeth all understanding” (Philippians 4:7). God is enough when you allow Him to be. Our Lord does not force Himself on us. We must welcome Him and be sensitive to His “still small voice” (1 Kings 19:12). It wasn’t God who gave Tom cancer or a bad reaction to medicine, but He did rescue him out of this world by taking Tom Home to be with Him before he had to endure unimaginable pain. We didn’t say “goodbye”; we said, “until we meet again.”

   God taught me to be thankful for the thirty-two plus years we had together, rather than bemoan Tom’s absence for a short while. Is God enough? God is more than enough. Let this new year be the year that you are sure that God is enough, and you, too, may find that He is more than enough. “Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not” (Jeremiah 33:3).